Epilog

I may be the worst judge of these essays so my assessment is most likely flawed. I only know that in compiling this volume I must have cried more that I have in the past. So many of the essays were deeply emotional.

Many of them have touched on the deepest area of my spirit - what is really going on inside. Not that I actually have any clue on what is actually happening there. Grief and my subconscious are battling things out so I only receive notification through tears.

If that is any indication - this past month has been quite a titanic battle.

It isn’t the battle of darkness and despair that I had been dealing with initially - but a battle none the less.

Perhaps a battle to go forward to that unwanted future I keep mentioning - time will tell.

But I receive comfort in knowing that perhaps the trail of this journey I am leaving may in some way help and comfort others who have to travel this same road in their own way.

So as I live from day to day - I keep an eye on our real future. The future that awaits all of us in Christ.

My education in the transient - the seen - the perishing, has been quite intense. Quite revealing. Revealing in the sense that I am totally overwhelmed by the physical loss and all the physical ramifications of that loss.

But the future? The future that my sweetie is awaiting - that will be eternal.

Paul speaks to that point as we prepare to move on to Volume 5.

I am breathless in anticipation as to what that volume could possibly reveal. But I have said that before and been humbled at what is revealed.

Thank you for your incredibly brave attitude in being with me.

13 Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, “I believed, and so I spoke,” we also believe, and so we also speak, 14 knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. 15 For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.

16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 4: 13-18 (ESV)